Forgiving

This morning I watched in desperation a  couple who at one point were the envy of many, whose lives had revolved around the other for several years, whose positive energies had enjoyed life until one day the other decided what had been had been a big mistake, a huge catastrophic mistake that couldnt have taken place.:A mistake that warrants no forgiveness, a mistake that has reached hopelessness.Seeing the sorry, pathetic sight, I thought what if  they were to forgive each , only if?  Rev. Fr. Leo Copacia (reprint from the “Solia”) article offers a great way of forgiveness and if you have been struggling with forgiving your cousin, spouse, uncle, mother, father please internalise this and practise this remedy:

Forgiveness is not forgetting the hurt or abuse that has been spewed upon you. Forgiveness is not justifying the other person's actions for why and what they said or did to you. * Forgiveness is not excusing the person or persons who have hurt or abused you. What forgiveness is, is simply saying to the person or persons, whomever they may be: "I lay aside forever, the hurt and anger that you have caused me., over whatever time frame you have experienced this situation, and I forgive you unconditionally, and no longer hold it against you."

You are solely responsible for your own act of forgiveness to someone who has hurt or offended you. Some of you may ask, "How do I do this when that particular person will not speak to me or has died?"

Here is a suggestion I would like to share with you from the advice of a very learned pastor and therapist, Dr. Charles said, "Here is what you do if you cannot, for whatever reason, sit face to face with these people and ask their forgiveness. You set up two chairs in the privacy of your room when no one else is around. You then sit in one chair and pretend the person you want to forgive is in the other chair. You then start to verbally express to that person all the terrible feelings you have about them and the hurt they have caused you over the years or whatever period of time you experienced this. Let all of those pent-up and abusive feelings come out and do not hold anything back. Say it exactly like it is and how you feel it personally down deep inside. Some of those feelings may be so hideous and traumatic that you have suppressed them for ten, twenty or more years."

When you cannot forgive someone, you cannot, no matter what you say, have the capacity to truly love yourself or anyone else. Do you agree?